in a nutshell

Say hi to regrets.

2012-01-27T00:29:00.000+08:00

Since it's still January, I hope it's not too late to talk about resolutions. Well not really resolutions. but I want to talk about regrets. I once said the I don't and I won't regret anything I do because I made my choices and I can't regret my own choices. Yes, I don't really regret anything. To regret is to have "a feeling of sadness or disappointment because of something that has happened or something that you have done or not done". If we stick by that definition, I don't think I've ever felt regret. To have regrets is to not enjoy the present and I love where I am right now. But I've always enjoyed asking myself;

Are you happy?
How would you like today to turn out to be?
If you could do something without thinking about the consequences, what would it be? and
What are your biggest life regrets?

My biggest regret is, no, let me rephrase that. My biggest regrets are -

letting go of the numerous friendships in my life.
not saying yes to the boy that asked.
the fact that I want that boy only NOW because he moved on.
lying.
not building a friendship solid enough that I can't live without that person.
breaking one too many promises.
telling one too many lies.
abandoning my piano lessons in my earlier years.
not giving a damn enough about every single friendship I have.
not changing the world.
turning down a huge opportunity because I shy away from responsibility.
learning to curse.
turning down my parent's offer of sending me to a Chinese school. (I so wished I could speak chinese now)
not to have paid enough attention in class.
walking on the tip of my toe when I was small.
slouching/hunching.

Is that all?

Say hi to random weekends

2012-01-16T17:46:00.000+08:00

The weekend I lost my Blackberry. Mehh. I didn't really want to post it up but as I scrolled through my posts, I noticed how this was left as a draft. So there you go.

I think the only reason this is being posted up is because I'm distracted. I should be reducing the pile of English prep that has to be done by tomorrow. As I write, I'm sitting on the hammock while fearing I might fall and crush my laptop in the process. I should get back to work.

Say hi to school

2012-01-15T13:44:00.001+08:00

I really can't depend on school internet anymore. If you really want to see my Vietnam pictures, you can head here;

http://www.flickr.com/photos/nadiaesham/sets/72157628835180313/

or

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2761127460238.2137155.1019358575&type=3&l=8a24a473ff

Sorry for the hiatus.

2012-01-02T18:16:00.004+08:00

Because I realized that I tend to sabotage things before actually letting it happen. I'm sorry.
I don't know why I do it.

Say hi to Malaysia

2011-12-27T16:56:00.001+08:00

Back in Malaysia. I miss Vietnam. So much. I didn't expect myself to enjoy Vietnam THIS much because this trip, would be my 3rd time in Vietnam and my last 2 trips wasn't that enjoyable. There are a few factors why;

1. My first trip to Vietnam was when I was 8 or 9. Maybe I was too young to appreciate it.
2. My second trip to Vietnam was for FOBISSEA 2010. We didn't really get the chance to explore the country. All we did was going back and forth from the hotel to the school or stadium.

Both trips were to Saigon though. Maybe Saigon it just not my cup of tea. Hanoi on the other hand, is just nice.

I'll update all of you on Vietnam as soon as my laptop is all well again. My charger is being a bitch.

Say hi to realizations.

2011-12-25T20:43:00.001+08:00

We're forever going to have unfinished business.

Say hi to a Saturday

2011-12-13T03:53:00.000+08:00

Word of the day; animus
noun /ˈanəməs/
1. Hostility or ill feeling
2. Motivation to do something
3. Jung's term for the masculine part of a woman's personality

As I'm writing (typing), I'm waiting for my mum to pick me up and have an adventure together. I'm supposed to be working today, at ChicPop, with my sisters, but I didn't really feel like it. So here am I, home alone, with my little bird by my side. Speaking of adventures, I was on an adventure yesterday with Alex and Foo to get to Renee's party. From Ikano, to Mont Kiara, to KL Sentral and ended up taking a KTM to Subang Jaya to get to our destination. Imagine 3 people, on a train, with tons of balloons. 3 balloons popped on the way. We got to our destination safely and had a good time with Renee.

I'll be off to Vietnam on Monday for a short holiday with my dad, my little sister and my older brother! I'll be at Hanoi and Sa Pa and since it's close to the Chinese border, it'll be quite chilly. Another adventure for Nadia.

Say hi to lazy days

2011-12-11T14:16:00.001+08:00

Word of the day; insipid

1. Lacking flavor: "insipid coffee"

2. Lacking vigor or interest: "insipid, shallow books".

1. Because half of family decided to ditch my sister and I for Langkawi last week, I had to stay over at my other mum's house with my older brother and sister till a few minutes ago. I'm finally back at home, on my bed, dressed inappropriately but comfy as hell.

2. My holidays are being spent most of the time in front of my laptop. I have no life. Seriously Nadia, Runescape. Really? The only thing I look forward to everyday was supper because we'll be cooking something good.

3. Amaka has been good. He's comfortable with me now and he doesn't really try to fly away anymore unless he panics. My parents are not really happy about it. They keep on telling me that it's cruel to keep a bird in their cage. I find their argument invalid because WHAT ABOUT OTHER ANIMALS?

4. I've decided to start watching Skins and I've learnt that it's better if I watch it in discreet. I miss watching the Korean dramas that's able to make me spazz, get excited and cry my eyes out like "Boys Over Flowers" with their F4 and "You're Beautiful" with Hongki and and and Secret Garden was good as well. What happened to all the good Korean dramas?

5. I saw a picture and listened to a few audio clips of Super Show 4 in Osaka . Ah~ the fanchants, the sapphire blue sea, the boys. It sounded amazing. Gave me goosebumps. Sorry guys, I've finally got the chance to catch up with my Kpop fandom. Watched Mnet MOA the other day because it was held just behind my house and it would seem really stupid if I didn't go so yes, I went. I didn't really enjoy it because I felt like I was so far away from the stage but my boys were perfect, it's okay. I have new biases now; B1A4 and the Yedong boys. Went on tinychat with Barom and Taemin and I instantly melted.

6. I need to find a job or at least do something productive. I have my eyes on Canon 50mm f1.8 lens and that requires money. I want to re-pierce my navel or at least get a new piercing on my nape and that requires money too.

7. I need to lose weight or at least control myself. I'm such a fatty that you guys should take a look at my belly. Imagine, 3 months pregnant.

8. I get implacably jealous sometimes and I don't know whether I have the right to. Sometimes I worry if I'm just being insecure or overreacting or possessive.

9. Brian's birthday is on Wednesday.

10. Yes, I'm stressing.

Say hi to them retards

2011-12-11T14:07:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

Say hi to Amaka

2011-12-07T02:50:00.001+08:00

Hi guys. Amaka meet readers. Readers meet Amaka. He's currently the love of my life. Uzo made me name him after her which means beautiful in Nigerian and I think he's gorgeous. Holidays has been rather bland but it'll get better. Hopefully. I'll keep myself occupied.

Say hi to form 5 International

2011-12-07T02:16:00.001+08:00

HEHEHEHHEHEHEE. I miss school already.

2011-11-30T19:12:00.001+08:00

The problem with me;

I meant to say, "Please stay." That's all I could think in my head. But I could feel my lips open and I could hear myself say "Alright. Go then. Bye."

Say hi to end of term

2011-11-29T22:49:00.001+08:00

Word of the day; osculate

Snog; touch with the lips or press the lips (against someone's mouth or other body part) as an expression of love. greeting. etc.

2 more days and it will be the end of this term and I'm anticipating Farrah's arrival from the country of Oz at the end of December. KTJ had a social night or should I say "Fright Night" last Monday. It was pretty good, minus a couple of unfortunate events. It was supposed to be an overdued Halloween event held by the school prefects. Some of the students actually took proper effort to dress up (with face paint!) while me on the other hand took the opportunity to dress up as a hobo. With a black beanie covering my head, a sweater over me and ripped shorts, I looked like a proper hobo who was sweating like a mad cow due to extreme movements and thick clothing. Went there with slippers and that was a really bad idea as well. My feet was stepped on a couple of times to a point where someone actually stepped on my blister causing it to pop. On the bright side, I wore slippers to school yesterday. I've always wanted to do that. Ooooh such a badass.

Going to have a movie session today during English class. Awesome.

Say hi to transitions

2011-11-25T20:02:00.001+08:00

Word of the day; nepenthe

A drug the relieves one of emotional pain, grief or sorrow.

I've decided to do one of those "word of the day" things to expand my vocab. I feel that I should start reading the dictionary as well. Okay, I know I know I know I sound like I'm going mental but Julia thinks I'm going through a transition period of not having a phone. Oh right, yeah, I lost my phone. I lost Othello. ):

How did it happen?

Left my phone on a table (somewhere) last exeat in KL and someone took it. A random Cina guy (I'm assuming) called Lee is using my blackberry right now.

It feels good (somehow) not having a phone although I feel disconnected sometimes. I don't sneakily use my phone in class anymore (I read books now) and I've been sleeping early. (YAYY to sufficient sleep)

I'm considering whether to hide my report card when it comes in the mail sometime in mid-december. It's harder for me to do such things now since I have my sister with me. We will have to collaborate and I'm not really looking forward to that.

On the other hand, I'm looking forward to my weekend at home. It's been a while.

Say hi to my results

2011-11-24T20:05:00.001+08:00

English - A*

Physics - A

Accounting - A

Malay - A

Maths - A

English lit. - B

Chemistry - C

Add Maths - C

Economics - C

BOOOOOOO ):

Say hi to exams

2011-11-15T18:28:00.001+08:00

rhetorical, impugning, apathetic, revulsion, melancholic, contrast, audacity, anthropomorphism,

omnipotence, perpetually, omnipresent, undulating, lethargic, inanimit,

lachrymose, connotations

Stayed up 2 nights in a row just for Chemistry and today, I couldn't even answer half of the paper. I'll just dream of English lit. tonight and hopefully, tomorrow, I'll be able to be deep and emotional while sitting for the paper.

Say hi to Halloween part 2.

2011-11-11T13:50:00.001+08:00

It was such an awesome way to end the holidays.

Say hi to ...

2011-11-04T13:38:00.000+08:00

"Because it's always nice to know, to feel, that there's always someone there waiting for you, loving you. "

Someone said this to me once. I've forgotten who it was.

Say hi to Halloween (Alia)

2011-11-01T19:53:00.001+08:00

Halloween Celebration in Alia. 31/10/11

Best Halloween I've ever had only because this is the first time I actually bothered celebrating it. Dressed up as a zombie cheerleader for the night. I'm not sure whether I pulled it off though. Watched 2 absolutely disturbing movies together. Had a Halloween sleepover together with Julia in my room.

Oh such fun. ♥

Say hi to Han's birthday

2011-11-01T17:50:00.001+08:00

They are so cute omgwtfbbq. DIES.

Such a fun fun birthday celebration. Renee tricked Han into believing that she went to Singapore so she won't be able to spend his birthday together.

Say hi to the mid-term break.

2011-10-25T22:51:00.004+08:00

Julia: You're such a bogan fake slut;

Nadia: How am I a bogan fake slut? -.-

Julia: Because a slut needs sex. You just need lovin.

For one, it's mid-term break/ Diwali holidays! Thanks to Cambridge, I had my IGCSE English listening exam today so I had to go back to school. I've been feeling like a zombie these days. My throat burns and I can't stop coughing every second.

Had an adventurous night on Sunday night. I drove all the way to KL illegally and mind you, that was only the 2nd time I had ever drove a car. We were lucky there wasn't any roadblocks. We got into KL quite smoothly but we spent like almost 2 hours just trying to find Paparich in Bukit Bintang because we were supposed to go there first and meet some Korean friends. We ended up having to wait for Zain to come to us and drive us instead. Such #failness. We had a good night though. All of us crashed at Andron's apartment and I drove back home the next day. He has a sexy Lamborghini. I swear I drooled on his car. HAHA.

The drive back home didn't go as smooth as I planned it to be though. I banged into motorcycles parked at the side of the rode which created a mini domino effect and I slightly bumped into a Mercedes in Foo's neighbourhood. Thank god the old uncle didn't get out of the car and like sued us or something. Scared the shit out of me.

Nevertheless, we had a fun experience. However, I have a practice add math paper to finish and 3 English Literature essays to be finished. We'll see how this holiday will treat me.

Regrets and mistakes are memories made. - Adele

2011-10-25T16:47:00.001+08:00

All I need is some loving.

Say hi to feelings (finally)

2011-10-18T17:56:00.000+08:00

Say hi to Penang part 2

2011-10-18T17:34:00.002+08:00

Had a lovely short break in Penang since my roommate, Murielle, lives there. It was also my first time there!

Oh and I've just come to realize on how bad Air Asia and LCCT is. Even though it was only a one hour plane ride, it was soooooo stuffy and I was trying to stop myself from puking the whole time.

I swear I won't mind riding the public bus everyday because this is the view you get.

Batu Feringghi. I felt like a character from Charlie's Angels when I rode a jet-ski.

Best Curry Mee ever.

HAHAHA. Check out her sunburn.

Our fail attempt of pulling a stoned face.

Say hi to Penang

2011-10-08T22:14:00.002+08:00

HI GUYSSSSS. I'm in Penang!

Say hi to my family

2011-10-02T10:00:00.000+08:00

Lovely lovely lovely weekend so far! Was allowed out from school for the weekend to send my sister, Hayat, off at the airport. She's heading back to Nottingham and it's her last year. THAT MEAAAAANS that we'll be visiting her THERE pretty soon! (excited!)

Had our special rare family dinners at a seafood restaurant near the Subang Airport on Friday before she left last night, and it's clearly quite obvious how I'm in love with my nephew.

There's going to be an interesting event going on this evening. I shall announce it one day but for now, I'll keep it to myself. ;)

On the other hand, I'm heading off to Penang for a short break during the school exeat, next weekend with my roommate, Murielle. She lives there by the way. This would be my first time in Penang and we're going to have an adventure! I'm so stoked about this trip. YAAAAAAAY.

Say hi to my besties

2011-10-02T02:35:00.001+08:00

I would do anything to never lose them.
Been together ever since primary 6, and still going on strong even though we are a million miles apart from each other right now. (The previous sentence was an exaggeration BUT STILL)

Say hi to excitements.

2011-09-19T20:31:00.001+08:00

I forgot how it feels like to see someone and your heart just skips a beat.

I forgot how it feels like to be truly happy with someone.

I forgot how it feels like to be in complete tranquility and serenity with someone.

I forgot.

I'm turning 16 tomorrow. I've never really understood why is the adjective of turning 16 is 'sweet'.

I find it bittersweet. I think I'm facing a Peter Pan complex. I don't really want to grow up. You'll never be 15 again.

But at the same time, I feel that, it'll be nice, no? To have someone treat you more of an adult now?

No more saying, 'I'm only 15' and the first thing that comes up into their mind, 'kid'.

Now to think about it, I don't know what I want to achieve in life.

I got a PDA offence the other day in school. NOT that I was doing anything stupid.

I was walking back with someone and it was considered out of bounds and it was also dark.

To make things worst, he sprinted back. *facepalm

From what it seems to just a walk, now it seems as if we had sex.

It's over now though between the both us. Things didn't really work out. I didn't like having to commit to something I didn't want. I must honestly say that I've been a busy. Very busy.

Not only that I have a stack of prep on my table, but I'm procrastinating. Look what I'm doing now!

House singing was last weekend. I am honestly proud of my girls although we didn't. I have to admit that I'm a tad bit disappointed. But it feels good, to walk around and people telling you that Alia should have won. We got 4th by the way, tied with Nadzi.

I can't wait to go to back with Murielle to Penang on the first October exeat. We're gonna have fun! Big plans ahead. Finally, going to meet Bryce and yes, good food. I guess I could consider it as a short holiday trip. It's been long since I've been somewhere else rather than Johor, PJ, or Negeri Sembilan.

Oh talking about going places, it has been a rather interesting weekend, apart from house singing that is. On Saturday morning, me and Julia and Sharan sent Salim away to the UK. Planning to leave the house at 5.20 at first, all three of us ended up waking up at 5.45. Woken up by Julia and I still had the time to say, "Don't lie! *giggles " when she mentioned that it's 5.45. Nevertheless, we made it in time to the airport at well as back in time for classes. It still have yet to sink in that Salim is now all the way in UK because I feel that as if she's just back at home and we're going to see her the next weekend.

On Sunday morning, had a walkathon in Putrajaya Wetlands. You had no idea how 'jakun' I was to be in Putrajaya because I have never stepped foot there. Yes yes, I know I know. Where have I been living all this while.

From planning to cycle the whole route, we ended up running seriously, as if it was a marathon.

Made a pit stop to Alamanda, watched Johnny English and I swear it's a must watch. I've never laughed so much and so hard throughout a movie. Got permission from mother and miss Campbell to have a little adventure hence we ended up in KLCC as all the rest went back to KTJ.

I hope that it's going to be a good week. So far so good. Going to ISKL tomorrow for a friendly football match and AISM on Wednesday for a friendly netball match. Again, it's going to be another busy and interesting week.

Say hi to Lolita

2011-09-11T16:34:00.003+08:00

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta."

I love how Vladimir Nabokov uses all the right words to make you feel disturbed. The book is about a middle-aged college professor who is in love with his landlady's twelve-year-old daughter. Disturbing enough?

Although very controversial and disturbing, it's one of the greatest classics all of time. I wouldn't call it pornography, more of a psychological disorder kind of thing.

Mr. Liebenberg thinks I'm a little too young to read such things. HAHAHA.

Say hi to raya

2011-09-11T16:25:00.000+08:00

How was Raya?

Say hi to stupidity

2011-09-09T16:48:00.000+08:00

I don't hate you. It's hard for me to hate someone cause honestly, I don't think you've done anything wrong to me and I find it really tiring for me, mentally, to actually hate someone.

However though, I must admit. That you, are one of the stupidest people I know. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I have to honestly say it out.

Yes, I must say that, love is blind, but not to such an extent where you degrade to the state you're in now.

Wake up. Wake up and face reality. Don't deny reality.

Say hi to mind funerals.

2011-08-20T17:27:00.003+08:00

In your mind, just pretend that I died.

2011-08-15T21:06:00.001+08:00

i'm studying hard. >:)

Say hi to scouting

2011-08-09T22:43:00.004+08:00

India

mikeindiasierrasierra

mikeyankee

sierracharlieoscaruniformtangoindianovembergolf

deltaalphayankeesierra.

I never got the time to learn the morse code though. Anyone wants to teach me that?

Oh wait, maybe I should just bug my sister.

I miss Bryan. He's all the way in ~~Scotland~~ Sweden attending the World Scout Jamboree though. I wanna go too.

Oh wait, I just remember that he's supposed to be coming back today. I think.

Say hi to the end

2011-08-09T01:38:00.003+08:00

of summer holidays!

Back to school this weekend. That means it's going to be downright busy for the rest of this week.

Juggling between friends, school preparations and Global Debates, I must admit it's not easy but I know I'm going to be satisfied in the end.

On the other hand, my sleeping pattern is absolutely screwed up! Sleeping only after sahur or right before sahur and ending up waking up at 3 in the afternoon. It's 2 in the morning now, I should get some sleep, no? I'm heading to DJ tomorrow with sissy to hang with friends for the last time before the big day. Can you believe it, my sister's joining me! Felt as if my first day was just yesterday.

Goodnight!

Say hi to girlfriends/boyfriends

2011-08-04T04:42:00.004+08:00

what makes a good girlfriend/boyfriend?

is it sex?
support?
or just submission?

well i say fuck all that.
its something completely different.

well, im gonna look at it from my point of view.

a girlfriend tends to be someone you spend a lot of time with.
(duh)
so first things foremost, you need comfortability with each other.
you need to be able to be yourself with each other,
no masks, no facades, no acting, just one on one, open.
*of course, you still need some secrets, to keep the mystery going, which is why i do not need to know about menstruation, or urination, okay?
but you do need openness, and the ability to talk about anything in particular.

but at the same time, you need some nervousness,
some tingly feelings in your toes.
some fear, and some distance.
i call this - chemistry.
when a mere thought makes your heart jump a little, thump a little and bump a little.
where a touch makes you blush
and a kiss turns you to mush.
noone can explain or describe chemistry, you can have it with the weirdest people
or not have it with the one you wish you did.
you cant force it, but there you go.
its real and its there.

but these tend to be non ceteris paribus,
outside factors beyond our control.
when it comes down to it,
you and i?
heres what i think.

girlfriends, and boyfriends should be like medicine.
paracetamol, antibiotics, robitussin, prozac, or even vicodin.
be they painkillers, comforters, curers, or even poison
your love should be your personal pill.
it might sometimes be a bitter pill to swallow, or you might fight for your next hit
but ultimately it should be something that is good for you.
a girlfriend should be supportive for you, and make you a better person.
and i dont mean this in the : "do this, wear this, say this, read this it will be good for you" kinda way.
thats my moms job.

no, i mean a good partner should not just make you feel better about everything,
*and if the person your with right now DOESNT make you feel good about yourself, get the fuck out of that shit piece of a relationship and dont make me yell at you.
but honestly make you a better person yourself.
bring you out of your shell
or be the filter in front of that too open mouth
be the catalyst that makes you go for that interview or audition
so that you can actually look back from the future one day and say: it was because of her, i did this. i became this.

see its easy for someone to make you feel good
whether with compliments, smiles, hugs, or 3 hour blowjobs
but its not so easy for someone to make YOU good.

but like any good drug, it can be abused.
it can be addictive.
you can abuse the love you get, you can always take it for granted.
you can lose it, and let it slip away with time, which is a huge mistake.
you might get addicted to it,
and smother the other person
neediness is never good.
there is a huge difference between needing someone in your life and being needy.
know that.
sometimes distance is a good thing.

you need honesty in a lover.
someone who will tell you you look fat in that shirt.
and someone who will tell you 'i dont like it when you do that'
or 'no, i wont do that for you, no matter how many of your friends say its okay'

but its how you react to that that makes all the difference.
once someone is honest with you, you need to be honest too.
if he/she doesnt like what your doing, you have to tell them why you do it
and TOGETHER decide if its okay to continue.

trust, love, blah blah all that hoopla too.
but if you dont have that, again, you shouldnt be in a relationship anyway.

and yes, sex is immensely important too.
*and just because you dont actually fuck, doesnt mean that sex isnt involved, it is, you just havent gone all the way yet. please, dont give me that condescending look, even missionaries fuck okay? theres a reason they named the position that.

sex (or the physical is huge too)
from a simple kiss on the nose,
to fucking in the back of a car for 3 hours straight, the physical is integral.
i do love people for their minds sometimes,
but you'd be lying if you told me you didnt fantasize about kissing the person you love.
you need that phyisical intimacy and interest.

but it cant ever be ruined, cuz its never the same afterwards.
sex cant be rushed, it has to happen naturally.
if someone forces in onto you before your ready, you might or might not enjoy it.
but it wont ever be really comfortable after that.
if someone else comes into the picture
its never really the same after that
cuz in the back of your head is a picture of some other guy or girl.

but ultimately kissing girls is easy.
what makes the huge difference to me is what they say afterwards.
cuz honestly, i do love girls for their minds and whats on it.
a kiss is sometimes just a kiss.
and sex is sometimes just animal sex.

at the end of the day what makes a person a good boyfriend or girlfriend is always the step 2.
what they say after a kiss.
or what they do after a fight.
how they deal with as problem.
do they run, fight, scream or sulk?
or do they talk, work it out, or do something about it?

its okay if a girlfriend or boyfriend makes you do something you dont want to
its through that we learn new things, we learn boundaries.
if we all stayed at home everynight just cuddling, we'd go nowhere.
sometimes, you NEED to go for that interpretive dance show.
or try out that shellfish you can't stand eating.
but at the same time there can be too much forcing.
you need some mutual respect.
you need trust.
honesty.
chemistry.
love.
and yes, sex.

that might or might not be what your looking for
but thats what i think.

just to give you an idea,
im sitting in the california sunshine right now
writing this as a single 20 yr old
who's been in and out of love
who's been happy and sad
and been fucked up and fucked over.
im writing this from my point of view.

__________________________

on a completely related yet unrelated note
i personally have too high a pedestal.
i watch too many movies and read too many books
and i want what i see there.
i want the fairytale romance,
the perfect imperfections you see in chick flicks
and rom coms.
i want the magical and unreal.

you might say im delusional
but you know whats funny?
thats what i eventually get.
it might be normal to you
but ive had the magical, the special, the crazy/beautiful kinda stuff you only read about.
even if it was only my imagination making it so
have you?

i still want the girl i can spend monday afternoons in bed with
the one ill play stupid guitar love songs for
and cook banana pancakes with
the person for whom i shall place flowers in her hair
and leave post it notes in her books and cds.
the person for whom ill write songs for
and 'i love you's' for on the mirror after a shower.

___________________________

Some of you might have seen this before!

Adapted from a blog I read a long long long long time ago. He made it private now though.

I don't even remember how I stumbled upon this but I knew I had to keep it somewhere for safekeeping. And I still enjoy reading it again and again.

It's 5 o'clock in the morning and I've yet slept.

Time for sahur guys. WAKE UPPPP.

Say hi to stalkers

2011-08-03T13:33:00.001+08:00

I knew it, I knew it all along,

SHE STALKS MEEEE.

(I feel insecure now)

Say hi to hunger

2011-08-02T12:30:00.005+08:00

I'm feeling nauseous. I assume its because its been 12 hours plus since my last meal. I notice how I've been waking up at 12 everyday. And then suddenly my bed would get too comfy and I'll end up cuddling with my blanket while I struggle typing on my laptop due to the weird position I'm in till 2 in the afternoon where I'll get too hungry that I'll start to fluster which will make me realize, "What am I doing?" I would then wash my face, brush my teeth and go downstairs. However, instead of getting food, I will turn on the TV, lie down on the sofa for a couple of minutes and then only grab some food to replenish my hunger. (I'm giggling right now because I remember the days where I used to write 'open' the TV. #fail)

I'm starting to feel really really nauseous now due to my hunger so this is a list of what you should feed me;

spicy chicken mcdeluxe

beef jerkey

red velvet cake

bulgogi

ayam goreng mcd

gooey brownie with ice cream

kiimchi jiggae

pumpkin soup

garlic bread

mushroom soup

shepherd pie

brie croque monsieur sandwiches

auntie anne's pretzels

nuggets

instant noodles

wantan noodles

moo moo burger

deep fried calamari

macarons

creme brulee

omelette

I figured that list will help but no. This means that it's time for me to get up.

Mother just came into the room and she asked me what refugee camp is this.

That means that it's time to clean up my room.

Wow this post is all over the place.

I need to eat.

and read a book.

Say hi to ninja kicks

2011-08-02T00:32:00.004+08:00

I just wanna ninja kick you in the face right now seeing how happy you are.

"WACHAAAAAAAA"

I'm going insane guys.

HAHAHA.

but I'm still quite sane to leave all of you something to enjoy.

Whenever I start thinking of my love for a person, I am in the habit of immediately drawing radii from my love - from my heart, from the tender nucleus of a personal matter- to monstrously remote points of the universe. Something impels me to measure the consciousness of my love against such unimaginable and incalculable things as the behaviour of nebulae(whose very remoteness seems a form of insanity), the dreadful pitfalls of eternity, the unknowledgeable beyond the unknown, the helplessness, the cold, the sickening involutions and interpenetrations of space and time.

Vladimir Nabokov, Speak, Memory

Say hi to emptiness

2011-08-01T14:48:00.005+08:00

I feel like a sad depressed unloved child now.

I need someone to hug me to sleep, stroke my hair, tell me that he loves me and that everything is gonna be okay.

Be happy? Really?

Say hi to Harimau Malaya

2011-07-29T00:32:00.007+08:00

Screw 1Malaysia and all the other shits. Nothing unites Malaysians of all races and age like football does. Honestly, I don't remember supporting the Malaysian football team THIS much.

The game between Malaysia and Singapore was pretty intense ehh?

I had so much fun. Well, watching the game and bashing the opponent on Twitter.

I swear though, I won't be surprised if Singapore football players get nominated for the Oscars after this. Now we know the real coach of the Singapore football team is actually Jack Neo and not Raddy Avramovic. It's either that or they just love the smell, taste and feel of REAL grass in our country since they use fake grass in their country.

After the game, I could have smacked any Singaporean that appears in front of me.

It's okay though. We're not gonna be sore losers. I'm still proud of Harimau Malaya. YES GUYS, I'M ACTUALLY PROUD OF OUR COUNTRY.

And I won't be surprised if tomorrow in the newspapers, they decided to give Datukship to our country's goalkeeper, Khairul Fahmi.

Did you see the goals he saved? It's just like LKFHAHVAKJV. (No words could describe it) Seeing how bad our country's defence was tonight, we would have died without him.

All hail Khairul Fahmi.

Or should I say Datuk Khairul Fahmi after this?

Maybe we should just cut their water supply.

Next stop; Malaysia - Japan, 21st September 2011.

2011-07-25T00:37:00.001+08:00

"You know what I really want to do with you? Hold you in my arms and feel your warmth. I want one hand on the curve of your back and one hand sweeping the hair from your eyes. I want you pressed against the wall. I want to feel the small of your back my legs wrapped around your waist. I want to feel your shoulder, with my cheek against it. I want it. I want it all."

2011-07-25T00:02:00.002+08:00

Say hi to Elmo. (Scroll down)

Say hi to markets

2011-07-24T22:51:00.007+08:00

I realized suddenly after god knows how long that my yellow elephant is missing. I really liked that yellow elephant though. It decided to leave me and run away to Africa.(OKAY LAME)

I've yet to decide on what animal deserves to be on the background of my blog following you always as you read through.

I had a lovely Sunday today! Woke up early to go to KL with the parents. Out of all places, we decided to go to the market! Yes you nitwit, not KLCC or Pavillion. (tsk tsk)
First stop was Pasar Karat located in Lorong Karat.

This is where all the stolen items/mugged items, for example the missing shoes from your house because someone took it in the night while you were sleeping gets sold off!
You can even find leeches here. *shivers

Honestly, I didn't have the guts to take much pictures there. The whole environment there kinda creeped me out but it's not too bad, really. It's actually located somewhere at the side or behind of Chinatown. You gotta be careful though. A lot of raids by the DBKL often.

Next stop was the infamous Pudu Wet Market. Such an eventful place although it's really dirty.
They sell fresh meat and live meat. What I meant by live meat, there's actually prostitution going on there. Just imagine your an old man informing his wife, "Honey, I'm going to the market to get groceries" and in reality he spends 1 hour having sexy time with a prostitute and 1 hour actually purchasing groceries!

And then I rushed back home for work. We had an awesome baby shower party. It was fun and cute! Remember the game where you pin the tail on the donkey? Their version is pin the sperm on the egg. LOL. and oh lovely lovely lovely decorations. Which for your information were all handmade.

I need to find this party planner.

Oh and I got a flickr. Do check it out

HEREEEEEE

be happy.

Say hi to Farrah's farewell

2011-07-23T01:16:00.007+08:00

16/7/2011
i miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. ♥

Say hi to my little nephew

2011-07-22T18:05:00.003+08:00

I'm a 阿姨!

Say hi to conversations

2011-07-22T17:44:00.003+08:00

"You always say: “we’ll talk.” Why, do you think that we’ll have a conversation and viola, we’ll have a solution? No. I will repeat myself for the thousandth time and you will repeat yourself for the thousandth time. Conversations don’t lead to solutions. A change in attitude and a change in action does."

You think I'm having fun doing this?

2011-07-20T16:42:00.001+08:00

NADIA. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THESE DAAAAAYS.

Say hi to Blackerry Bold 9900

2011-07-18T22:49:00.003+08:00

Seriously guys, look at this sexy beast. It's the new Blackberry Bold 9900.
Heard it's coming soon to Malaysia. I'm gonna wait for it and I'm gonna line up for it. HAHA.
I'm gonna wait patiently till it comes out.
Yes, patiently.

2011-07-16T16:10:00.001+08:00

Hi, I'm reporting live from Fat Spoon!
Do come drop by sometimes and I'll entertain you. HAHA. (:

Fat Spoon Cafe

2011-07-03T23:53:00.002+08:00

I started off my summer holidays with working as a waitress at a cafe in Uptown Damansara called Fat Spoon Cafe. It's only a few shops away from Wondermilk.
Honestly, the thought of working for 10 hours straight scared me at first since I've never worked before. However, I must admit that I enjoyed it.

The environment of working there is just so exciting. Lovely co-workers, boss, ambiance and not to forget food. Sometimes, I just feel like keeping the food I serve to customers for myself.
You guys should drop by sometimes. Here's the address; (Thanks to Google)

73, Jalan SS21/1A Damansara Utama
Petaling Jaya, Malaysia, 47400
+603 7728 3323

Oh and guess what, I was late on my first day. Not just that, I got the wrong orders, I spilled hot chocolate, I forgot some orders and I bang into customers. GAAAAAAH.
Don't worry, that only happened during the first few hours of my job. Inexperienced much?

I am now an experienced waitress. /Tears of joy/

Say Hi to Summer Holidays

2011-07-01T17:17:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow marks the starting of my summer holidays.
It's going to be a busy one alright!

The word "summer holidays" connotes water, swimming, sun and fun.
Therefore I feel that the next picture would be very relevant;

Swimming Gala Term 3 2011
We are so multicultural.
Left to right; Indonesian, Sri Lankan, Malaysian, Korean.

DON'T YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE A CATERPILLAR?
and Erika looks like an Alien.

WHEEEEEE.

2011-06-29T11:40:00.001+08:00

Chic Pop 25.06.11

School school school.

2011-06-23T21:03:00.003+08:00

One thing about staying in Kolej Tuanku Ja'afar is that you're always busy everyday.
You're so busy with school and ECAs that time flies so fast. One day, you're being a drama queen for how it's 3 more weeks till the next exeat and the next thing you know, it's already exeat!

So I just finished my end term examinations and next week would be the start of my summer holidays which is around 6 weeks long. Woo hoo.
My exam results have been satisfying, a tad bit disappointing because I knew I could have done much better. Could you actually believe that I'll be in form 5 or year 11 next term already which means it marks my first year in a boarding school? I swear I could still freshly remember the first day I arrived here.

After tons of night time swimming practices, Swimming Gala officially ended yesterday! It was better than I expected to be. I was being very pessimistic about it how we wouldn't win any medals and how I was just too sleepy to actually swim for the house. Nevertheless, we did good. I managed to achieve a total of 1 gold and 2 silvers. It would have been nice to get one more silver medal, however, my medley relay team got disqualified because one of us jumped into the pool earlier than the rest. It's alright, she was just overexcited? Hahaha.

I'll be coming home tomorrow for the weekend as my parents do not approve of me missing one whole week of school. I think it would be nice to bring back almost all of my things back so that during Speech Day, I can just bring a small luggage bag home. I might take a train back! I've always wanted to do so.

Oh and we had a Form 6 Open day as the school wants us to pursue us in staying for Form 6. Honestly, I did not plan on staying but I was very super impressed with the presentation and the class and 6th form centre. (Cupcakes every Friday break!)

I'm going to study and work really hard to get the scholarships they're offering which are 10 full scholarships and 5 partial scholarships. That's going to be added into my life goals. Tee hee. I sound like an overachiever. But seriously, with 21 offers from UCL, 1 offer from Oxford, 2 offers from Cambridge and 14 offers from Imperial or LSE. (I couldn't recall) WHO WOULDN'T ONE TO BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE ONE DAY?

Don't I sound like a normal person blogging?
Woo hoo.

Swimming Gala

2011-05-29T19:56:00.002+08:00

The only thing we look forward to after prep;
Swimming Gala practice.

I mean like seriously, what else is more exciting than being able to play in the swimming pool at night. It's every kids dream.
Our faces on the way there. WE SO EXCITED.

woohoo.

I want you.

2011-05-27T17:16:00.000+08:00

THIS IS TOO RELEVANT.
UNFFF. FML.

Cooookies.

2011-05-26T16:24:00.003+08:00

Alia House Night Term 2 2011

goodluck!

2011-05-23T19:12:00.001+08:00

i want to mess up your hair. woohoo.

/insertnamehere/ hamster.

2011-05-22T10:11:00.002+08:00

Meet /insertnamehere/

Yes, we don't have a name for her.
And we're not planning to.

2011-05-19T20:02:00.000+08:00

I want to belong in an orchestra.
Yes, such big dreams.

미쳐

2011-05-16T20:11:00.008+08:00

너 때문에 미쳐.

What's the plan of yours right now?
You lock your chinky eyes into mine, yet you give me that peculiar look of yours.
You do those things that you never had done to anyone, yet you send those lovey dovey messages to all your girlfriends.
You take my things, yet you don't take my number.
You steal me away, yet I'm convinced that you'll just leave me hanging there anytime soon. Again.
Who do you think you are huh?

I'll whack you.
In the most loving way.
Really.

Then again, who's the dumb one here apart from me?

Mufti Day.

2011-05-08T20:07:00.004+08:00

So every term, there will be one special day called the Mufti Day, a charity day held by the Interact club of my school, where the whole school is allowed to go to classes without their school uniforms. No, not naked. But anything you want! /exceptforpyjamasandrevealingclothes/ -.-

And for every Mufti Day, there is a theme and you have to cash out RM5.
HAHAHAHHAHA. I know right but everyone is will to pay just to be able to not wear school uniforms to class so really guys, it's a really good idea that all your schools should consider of doing.

Unfortunately I don't have this term's Mufti Day pictures but here is last term's!

Do excuse the heavy eyebags of mine, Kay the gay and the super act cute besties of mine. HEHEHHEHEHEHEHHE.

All about me.

2011-05-03T19:26:00.009+08:00

I just got an idea on what to write about. I realized how I've never written a full biography of yours truly. Yes, me. All the bios that I've written about myself has always been rather simple. Like this;

/insertnamehere/ , /insertagehere/ , /insertschoolhere/ , /insertbirthdaydatehere/

If you turn your eyeballs to your left, it's almost the same. Just that mine is put together in a rather complexed way. Whatever it, at the end of the day, all that you will know about me is rather;

- my name(written in 3 goddamn languages),
- the 2 links to my social network,
- my age,
- my current and previous ,
- which country I'm from (i know, i know. I sound as if everyone from different continents are actually reading my blog. BUT WHO KNOWS. I might be president or married to Prince Harry one day.)
- as well as one of my favourite quotes

Conclusion is, it's not fun enough to read. I bet no one actually reads it. All they do is just scan through it and goes "MEHH. Weirdo"
OKAY OKAY I GET IT.
I'm just putting all the blame to my bio where actually my whole blog is uninteresting.
But hey. Small steps eh? - and my blog is not as colourful as you wish it is because I'm saving your loading time. (Pfft, excuses.)

So here it goes;

My name is Nadia Esham; more likely to be called "Nadia" or "Esham" by fellow friends. However, calling me "Esham" is like calling my father. I come from a big family of a dad and 2 mothers and 7 siblings (believe it or not!). A nephew on the way in June or July (i swear i forgot not and it's not because i'm ignorant).

I previously had my primary education in SK Taman Megah where I achieved straight As in my UPSR and followed by SMK Damansara Jaya where I had my early secondary education but only managed to achieve 3As in my PMR knowing that I'll be moving to a new school. So here I am now, doing my IGCSEs in Kolej Tuanku Jaafar which is located in Mantin (aka away from civilization).

I have an unusual interest for body modification (those pretty ones! not weird scary looking ones). If it wasn't for the restrictions in my religion, I think I would have gotten myself a tattoo. To this date, I have 9 piercings (more coming soon?). 5 lobe, 1 helix, 1 tragus, 1 navel and the most recent one, the tongue. Don't be freaked out of me! I'm harmless, I promise. You won't even notice a thing even if you meet me at the side of the highway. I made a pledge to not have any facial or obvious ones so that people won't get the wrong impression of me.

I have to admit that I am a clumsy person. Proven with my iPod which I accidentally dropped and now left with a super large crack across the screen. For now, my ambition is to be a rich accountant. I know laugh, laugh all you want. But hey there's still a long long long long time to go thinking about what I'd like to be when I'm all grown up. All I know is, at the end of the day, I'm just that girl who loves sipping on some teh tarik and some Roti Banjir or Telur or Canai with my friends at a mamak.

Oh and I sometimes feel that a part of me is a guy, with my manly legs (which are bigger than MOST of my manly friends), my considerably deep voice for a girl and how I could be fairly abusive, violent (but not vulgar. HEHE) as well as how unorganized and untidy my room (or life) can be. OH and a proud scout from 37th PJ. I believe that I am manlier than most of you men out there.

So what do you think?
Would you like me if you knew me in person? Do I sound like that girl that you've always knew?
Or did I just describe myself in a way that doesn't sound anything like me?

Whatever it is;
I just want to tell the whole world that;
I am so nice.

Over and out.

2011-05-01T18:12:00.001+08:00

So they say, people with a tongue piercing will give better blow jobs.
Anyone wants to be first to try me out?
HAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm just kidding.
No seriously. -.-

needles.

2011-04-30T00:10:00.004+08:00

me; Dragonfly, Midvalley

Okay, so that's a picture of me about to get a needle poked through my tongue.

Yes, I had my tongue pierced.
To those who knows me well enough, I bet all you are all like, "Don't you have enough already?"
OKAAAAAY. I GET ITTTTT.
I swear this is the last body modification I'll do till I reach 21.

So what is it like?

A pain in the arse.

So the process of the needle going through my tongue didn't hurt. The process itself was really quick. They'll tell you relax, stick out your tongue, clamp your tongue and BANG you're down with a new piercing.
The most painful part of the procedure was actually getting your tongue clamped but that was uncomfortable rather than being called pain.
Seriously, I would get my tongue pierced again rather than biting my own tongue.
BUT I SWEAR.
After that -.-

The first few days, it'll get all swelled up where your tongue will double it's size.
Any thing that comes into your mouth during that period would just make you shriek.
It's a good diet plan though. You just won't want to eat anything because you'll know that eating would make you cry because it hurts like BLAAAH.

After those torturing days with is about the first 3 days depending on the person, the swelling would reduce and that's when you can actually start chewing food at the side of your mouth.

I did mine in Dragonfly Midvalley and had a really good deal which was RM135 including a non-alcohol mouth wash and another barbell.
That Sri Lankan guy in that picture has been doing piercings for the last 10 - 15 years. So he knows what he's doing. (Unless Irwin bullshit-ed to me -.-)
He is really friendly and really calm. I actually freaked out and told him to sing me a song while doing the procedure. HAHAH Instead he turned on some music.

It has only been 6 days.
It gets better day by day, don't worry.
I'll update about it if there's any major changes.

OH BTW.
I have like 2 hot Aussie chicks at my house right now.
(Y)

babies.

2011-04-28T21:54:00.002+08:00

babies; sister's baby shower in Johor.

They are like the first female toddlers that I fell in love with.

princess,

2011-04-28T13:49:00.005+08:00

Irwin; Dragonfly, Midvalley.

this
picture is so relevant in this situation right now.

so how do you feel right now?
do you still need that slap right across your face to make you realize that

this

is what YOU had done, what YOU have caused and what YOU are going to live with till the end.

you and your princess fantasy world.
take it and shove it up your non-existent arse.

heartbreaks. #ver. 2

2011-04-27T19:51:00.004+08:00

rose; received from someone who used to be special.

now, left to collect dust.

heartbreaks.

2011-04-15T00:24:00.003+08:00

i broke the ring a few hours ago. sigh

ring; stole it from my sister.
bag; Bally.
Dad gave it as a gift to mummy when they first got married. Which is like 16 years ago.

2011-04-14T19:39:00.000+08:00

WHERE THE HELL DID MY YELLOW ELEPHANT AT THE CORNER OF THE PAGE GO?!

2011-03-20T13:47:00.002+08:00

Because every year, I pledge that nothing could stop me from meeting my babies.

In a few weeks, it will mark the 2 years of my involvement in kpop fandom.
and Super Junior will stay there till the very end in my heart.

I'll post my fan account of Super Show 3 soon enough once I get hold of my pictures.

One week's worth

2011-02-20T20:31:00.010+08:00

There goes one week flying without you even realizing it how fast it was.

This is going to be quite long since I have nothing to do during prep time.

Firstly,

Happy Omega Belated Valentine's Day to everyone out there.

I know I know. It's like wtf. She's posting it like one week overdue. FHL.

Nothing much to say much about this. Just that I'm not #foreveralone this time. (:

and I put in super duper a lot of effort on writing this post-it note. ._____.

SORRY LA. Maybe it looks like crap but you know, it wasn't easy and Google Translate isn't trustable so I did it with the help of Joung Won.

LOLOLOLOL. I know I'm sad but you know just like, be proud of me la.

Secondly,

My school just celebrated their 20th Anniversary and in commemoration of it, we had a dinner in the Legend Hotel located somewhere nearby the Putra World Trade Center.

Somehow, obviously, being stuck in a boarding school in the middle of a ghost town, we were overly excited to the fact that we're going out from school and that we're going to be heading to KLCC first.

So this is what we did, before we went we were like this;

HAHAH. I was wearing Face Shop's Hydrating Mask and Foo was wearing some Korean beforehand-freezed-in-the-freezer mask. I must say I'm quite impressed because I'm not a person who really has patience when it comes to masks so I had it on only for 10 minutes but my skin was hydrated the whole night but not to a point where it's too oily and it's really cheap so it's worth a try.

Then, we went to KLCC like this.

and then because we were so over excited, we went to Make Up Forever Professional to do our make up and we went to Cedro (I think?) to do our hair. WAH WAH WAH. I'm still trying to contemplate whether was it worth it. .___.

But this is what we became of,

We're Malaysian Next Top Model sial. HAHAHAHHAHAHA. Okay laugh all you want -.-

I swear my feet died in my 5 inch heels that night to a point where it was cracking by the time we walking back to the bus.

Although overall, it sucked but I think I had a good time.

AH, I'll continue this the next time.

2011-02-15T20:55:00.001+08:00

Just. Do. It. Already. -.-

Sunplay Skin Aqua Silky BB Cream

2011-02-09T18:10:00.004+08:00

I'm going back to jail in less than 2 hours time.
SO, before I go back I shall post one last time till I don't know when.
Most probably after 2 weeks unless I stay lifeless then it might be everyday.

Before this, everytime I hear the word BB cream. I have the impression that it's a kind of cream where all the lala girls wear so that their face become super white and flawless to make their camwhoring pictures look super WAAAAO. HAHA.

BUT then one day, I was searching my bestfriend called Google why Korean girls have flawless skin and why they look super chio till everyone can drool. Hence I found out that apparently they really are a fanatic when it comes to skin care.

They use like 15 face products before getting out of the house. KSJDFKJDBJF.
I only use 6 products. HOW CAN THEY COPE?
Anyways, one of those 15 products that they use is called the oh-so-magnificient BB Cream.

Therefore ever since, I was always looking for a good BB cream.
So yesterday, my parents and I went shopping for things before going back to jail.
I must tell you, shopping with my dad is like "WAH SUPER SIEN TILL CAN DIE" but you'll get almost everything you want if you can handle the process.

Went to the Guardian and the Sunplay Skin Aqua BB Cream caught my eye.
So I'm going to use this till it finishes and I will TRY to write a review of it.

This is the start of professional blogging. HAHAHAHA.
Sounds ridiculous but I'm going to try.
Okay, I know already failed because this post is super wordy and no one likes reading wordy blogs.
BUT I'LL CHANGE.
It is going to be my first resolution of the year 2011.
Fighting!

2011-02-08T09:28:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to do and I don't know how to make them understand.
But then again, i know it is my fault. Maybe I've tried but they know I could have do it if I tried harder.
They know me too well. Heh.

I know that in their mind, they're thinking that I'm too caught in my life that I'm forgetting about them.
I'm sorry. I really am.
I know I'm in wrong here and i've realized.
I'll change.

2011-02-07T07:47:00.000+08:00

i'll be #foreveralone la.

Turmeric

2011-02-05T23:05:00.002+08:00

I'm yellow now. Literally. From top to toe.

Well, boredom took over today. Me and my sisters didn't take a shower till about after dinner. (Don't worry, we washed our face and brushed our teeth in the morning. We're not that uncivilized, you know)

I got the idea of covering my whole body with turmeric paste added lemon juice. I got it from a movie (Yes, laugh at me) that it is able to reduce your tan and your pigmentation. Indians use these to get fairer but well, you knowww. Anyways if you noticed, most Indian women have flawless skin. YEAAH, thats turmeric alright!

There's consequences though. Your skin will get stained so you'll look like a banana till you find out how to get it off and the problem is right now, I don't know how to get the stain off.
I'll tell you one day, if it really works.

=..='

omegle

2011-02-04T13:04:00.003+08:00

Guy a nice body to drool on. *drools.

Some guy from China

andy from TS3. LOL.

Stayed up till 4 last night with Syakirah JUST to Omegle.
After a number of ~~dicks, boobs and black screens~~.
We found some decent people as well.
HEHEHE.

beaaaast~

2011-02-04T02:04:00.005+08:00

now, look at that sexy beast.
That my friend, is Mario Maurer.
*squeaaaaals
dfjsnkjnsdkjnskdn

le sigh

2011-02-03T03:45:00.002+08:00

Please please please let me get what I want

2011-02-02T15:53:00.003+08:00

I just had to tell the world that I finally went to Pavilion for the first time ever.

Eventhough, it was at 12 midnight to watch a movie.
IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH.
Be proud me.
HAHAHA.

overwhelmed

2011-02-01T20:55:00.006+08:00

Have any of you ever had this feeling?

The feeling of pouncing onto a certain someone just to plant thousands of kiss on his face.

It's overwhelming, I swear.

and forgive me with the multiple short posts today. Too many thoughts in my mind.

kids

2011-02-01T20:04:00.004+08:00

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
i miss you guys sfm.

me2day

2011-02-01T18:11:00.003+08:00

Since I lazed around the whole time today and ate my 34298729th Spicy Chicken McDeluxe without any Chocolate Sundae this time because their machine was spoilt (and I only found this out when my McDs actually arrived and I literally went, 'FUUUUUU'), I made myself a me2day.

I find no point of it though. I don't understand a thing and I can only rely on the not-so-trustworthy Google Translate.

Atleast, I have something to waste my time one this holidays.

The last one was tumblr, it's dead.

hihi.

Have you guys realized how I rant almost everyday?

FML.

Envy

2011-02-01T00:11:00.008+08:00

She's so pretty, no? Ah~ the wonders of plastic surgeries.
I can turn bisexual for her, I swear. HAHA.
Just to creep you out, she was my wallpaper for quite some time.
/milkyskin/

WAH

2011-01-31T23:21:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAHHA.
I think this blog of mine is becoming soppier day by day.

2011-01-30T23:23:00.005+08:00

So as I fall deep asleep tonight,
I shall immerse myself into clutching onto my hopeful dreams to my chest tightly hoping that he will appear again.

emoemoemoemoemoemo.

No la, I'm just really tired lately. In every way possible.
Things have been really havoc lately.
It's not been even 2 days since I'm home but yet pimples have been outbreaking on my face due to all the stress.
~~Or maybe its because of the really bad pollution of air here.~~
However, when I'm not at home. The sense of longing for it appears and it's the other way around when I'm back.
And you know, every time when I'm about to go to sleep, it feels as if I'm wasting my time because I can do a lot of things apart from sleeping.

And I've bought my attire for KTJ's 20th Anniversary Dinner!
I dread dress hunting after this. No joke.
Hopefully a better day tomorrow, a facial appointment at 12 and most probably will do my hair as well!

home

2011-01-30T01:02:00.002+08:00

Make your parents to send you away to a boarding school located in the middle of nowhere
and that's when you'll appreciate your home and family more.
Honestly.
The feeling of stepping inside you own house after whatyoufelt like a long long long time is like WAAAAAAAAH.

cheesy cheesy cheesy

2011-01-28T18:53:00.006+08:00

Let me start with something cheesy because I know I won't be able to say this in front of your face.

and this is the first time that I actually mean it to someone like you.

I think I am really going to miss you and the 10 days without you is not going to the same.

Fine, I wrote 'think' because I am still in denial, I swear.

Oh and you should make me a Cyworld.

I'll whack you when you come back from Korea.

Don't get bombed okay? I'll cry.

WAH WAH WAH. So cheesy.

Oh and honestly, I never actually do these cheesy things.

HAHAH. Cause I'm a hypocrite.

Because I have the terror of people laughing at me when I be cheesy because

~~that's what I do to cheesy people.~~

I know I'm mean but you knowwww.

Now you can go laugh at my cheesiness.

and the funny thing is, he's never going to read this.

Go on, laugh.

Jonathan Safran Foer

2011-01-27T20:04:00.005+08:00

No, he isn't some hot actor or model. Sorry to dissapoint you girls.
He's a writer, and an amazing one indeed.
I went all WOW when I read some quotes from his books.
I must go get all his books during this Chinese New Year break.
Some of those that actually made me go WAAAAAH.

"I am doing something I hate for you. This is what it means to be in love."
- Everything is Illuminated

"You cannot protect yourself from sadness, without protecting yourself from happiness."
- Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

"She was like a drowning person, flailing, reaching for anything that might save her. Her life was an urgent, desperate struggle to justify her life."
- Everything is Illuminated

"We had everything to say to each other, but no ways to say it"
- Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Okay, now I feel like quoting his whole book.

Wow

2011-01-27T08:56:00.002+08:00

Now I know.
And now I'm assured.
You have never took me as one of your important friends.
I'm not even sure now whether you've ever sincerely wanted me as your friend.
Thanks a lot la.

Feelings

2011-01-25T22:09:00.004+08:00

What I'm feeling to one special person;

Affection
Amazing
Bliss
Cherishing
Dreamy
Eternal
Everlasting
Forever
Joyous
Strength
Bonding
Faith
Imperfect
Perfect
Grand
Miraculous
Perplexing
Mysterious
Monumental
Consuming
Freeing
Nonjudgmental
Far-reaching
Indefinable
Divine
Glorious
Painful
Painless
Limitless
Ecstasy
Agony
Empowering
Boundless
Fabulous
Fantastic
Weakening
Surprising
Uplifting
Emotional
Deep
Invigorating
Challenging
Fulfilling
Exhausting
Relaxing
Respectful
Rehabilitative
Meaningful
Melodious
Symphonic
Melancholy
Unexplainable
Delightful
Delicious
Delectable
Delirious
Enveloping
Extraordinary
Honest
Hope
Heroic
Haunting
Illogical
Lyrical
Lustful
Moving
Nourishing
Orgasmic
Obsession
Passionate
Powerful
Psychological
Unmeasurable
Infinite
Irrational
Restorative
Sensual
Sensitive
Sentimental
Stirring
Sanguine
Trusting
Voracious
Enveloping
Unity
Rhapsodic
Yearning
Tenderness
Cherishing
Devotion
Rapturous

What I'm feeling to another person;

Detest
Abhorrence
Abomination

Anathema

Antipathy
Aversion
Detestation
Hatred
Horror
Loathing
Repellence
Repugnance
Repulsion
Revulsion

Sigh.

Hardwork.

2011-01-22T15:57:00.007+08:00

Don't you think those cupcakes are lovely? I made it myself. (:
I'm actually in Jusco Seremban right now. I told my mummy to kidnap me for the weekend.
Stuck in boarding school for quite a long time depresses me.
No joke.

Although I am here, and gosh I feel like buying the whole mall.
I can't find the right words to ask my daddy about it.
I don't know, I might get a whole long lecture how we shouldn't spend our money. -.-

testing?

2011-01-22T14:26:00.001+08:00

hello~

testingtestingtesting.

Rantrantrant.

2011-01-22T14:16:00.003+08:00

i swear my school internet needs to die.

Oh and my mummy is so nice that she's bringing me out of jail tomorrow.

Sorry lovely, I have to figure out how to blog properly on my iTouch.

2011-01-14T16:10:00.000+08:00

Ci to the bai.
NUFF SAID.

Great Depression

2011-01-12T20:35:00.006+08:00

Dragging a baggage full of guilt on my back, I can't do much but to rather endure the pain.
Every single time, as the sight of him appears upon me, I can feel my insides slowly killing itself.
I don't know how long more till I can endure this.

I have my own version of Korean drama in my life at this moment.
No shit.

and since in English lit, I'm actually studying on The Great Gatsby which happened in the period of the Great Depression occured hence, the title is suitable.

I need a #blonote to cheer me up but I can't seem to find one.
Or I think it's most probably because I'm not putting much effort in finding an inspiring one.

Found one.

"Run until your hands touch the sky. Run until your lungs fill up with a dream."
(from Epik High - 'Run') - blonote 20100308

2011-01-12T10:58:00.002+08:00

Hi

I'm currently in Mr. Liebenberg's English lit. class. HAHA.
No, no, no. I'm not going against any rules. He allows it!
Tee hee.

2011-01-11T20:57:00.005+08:00

Let me first figure out how the hell do you upload pictures from my iTouch into my blog posts. :/

Delusions

2011-01-05T07:05:00.003+08:00

As I stare into the mirror, I fall into deep delusions and imaginations . The mirror pulls me away from reality and I blend into a world of of my own. I would not have realized how time passed briskly before the feeling of clutching the thoughts close to my chest and holding it tightly so that it wouldn't leave me knocks myself into reality.

This is what happens every single time when I am packing. That explain why I am up from 6.30 in the morning just to pack eventhough I am halfway through. I really feel that I'm insane sometimes.